Interfaith Marriage

Post #1 David
Here's my two cents: I love being Jewish but its only one of many aspects of who I am. Just as I would not expect my future wife to love baseball (I'm also a huge Yankees fan) I feel like I cannot reasonably expect that she be Jewish. Or to put it another way someones religion doesn't really affect how I feel about them at that level. If I'm going to get married, I think that there's a compromise to be worked out somewhere.


Post #473 Rambler
The discussion of intermarriage is very interesting, but it seems to me that everyone has missed the point. Judaism does not frown on intermarriage because it is racist. On the contrary, it has a very progressive approach to diversity.

People intolerant of diversity chop the collective body of humanity into six billion fragments and roll it back into a single mush. They want each person to do his or her own thing and relate equally to every other individual on the planet. They don't see the point of distinct peoples. They feel such distinctions just get in the way.

But we are like leaves extending from twigs branching out from larger twigs on branches of larger branches until we reach the trunk and roots of us all. Each of us has our place on this tree of life, each its source of nurture -- and on this the tree relies for its very survival. None of us walks alone. Each carries the experiences of ancestors wherever he or she roams, along with their troubles, their traumas, their victories, their hopes and their aspirations. Our thoughts grow out from their thoughts, our destiny shaped by their goals. At the highest peak we ever get to, there they are, holding our hand, pushing us upward, providing the shoulders on which to stand. And we share those shoulders, that consciousness, that heritage with all the brothers and sisters of our people.

That's why your own people are so important: If you want to find peace with any other person in the world, you've got to start with your own brothers and sisters. Until then, you haven't yet found peace within your own self. And only when you've found peace within yourself can you help us find peace for the entire world.

When a man and woman marry, two people become one. Their two paths become one path. They must therefore marry someone who is going down the same path. The path of your people. We must keep our own branch, and not try to just roll everything together as if we are all the same. That is not respecting diversity, but ignoring it. If you truly appreciate who you are and the unique contribution that your people make to the world, then you will want to raise your children to continue in that path. You will want to create a Jewish home. That requires two things. A Jewish father and a Jewish mother.


Post #519 Rambler
You don't marry Jewish because your racist or xenophobic. Quite the contrary, in fact. You marry Jewish because you want to continue the chain that our ancestors started thousands of years ago. You want to make a Jewish home, based on Jewish values. That means that you want your children to have a Jewish mother and a Jewish father like you were (hopefully) fortunate enough to have. It's not fair to expect a Non-Jew to forsake their heritage and join with you. All the various heritages in the world have something to contribute and it would be a shame if any of them were to be lost. We have a duty to continue our own. You shouldn't marry someone merely based on love. Two people who love each other are called friends. A marriage is where you want to make a home together, and for that you need someone compatible.