Post #1 Dana
Is it okay to marry a Non-Jew?
Post #2 Ely replied to Dana's post
Why would you want to?
Post #3 Alex replied to Dana's post
Very highly discouraged. According to the Torah, you're not supposed to "lust for other gods" and G-d's solution is to marry within the faith. Maybe the special someone will convert to Judaism, which is acceptable, I think...
Post #4 Dana
But assuming that the kids will be raised Jewish, is it okay to fall in love with a gentile? Is it moral?
Post #5 Matt
Judaism runs through the mother.
Post #6 Jason
It's not an issue of morality, but of true compatibility. If your central ideas on life are not compatible, how do you expect to have children, and raise them in such confusion?
Post #7 Alex replied to Dana's post
Yeah, it might be confusing for the kids. Being half-Jewish might cause them to pick-and-choose or even abandon Judaism altogether. Even if you both agree the kids will be Jewish, they may still desire the father's' faith
Post #8 Melanie
Although I love the culture of Judaism, I'm atheist and think that people should be allowed to choose their religion. I personally would have no problem marrying a goy if I were in love with him--because love isn't about race/religion/ethnicity etc.
Post #9 Arielle
Even though many people say that they will still raise their children as Jews if they happen to intermarry, somewhere down the family tree the Jewish identity will be lost. More Jews have been lost through intermarriage than those killed during the holocaust.
Post #10 Alex replied to Arielle's post
I think they call it the silent or something along those lines
Post #11 Rebecca replied to Ely's post
Yeah.
Post #12 Alex
This thread should be deleted if there's another one covering the same topic and having more posts.
Post #13 Jennifer
It's fine. My mom isn't Jewish, my dad is, they raised me Jewish and its totally fine. Love = love = love. Screw ancient rules.
Post #14 Sara
In a nutshell, you may not care about Judaism now but statistics how that after you get married and have kids you will care once again. When Christina wants to baptize your son you won't want it etc. Read this article.
Post #15 Jarred replied to Jennifer's post
Well technically you're not Jewish under Jewish law and that is the problem with intermarriage. It makes things more complicated in the long run.
Post #16 Craig replied to Dana's post
How can you guarantee that?
Do not intermarry. "Don't give your daughter to their son and don't take their daughter for your son: He will cause your decendents to turn away from Hashem and worship other gods"
-Deut. 7:3-4
It's much easier, and much more effective to build a relationship with someone who shares a common history and experiences. Amongst children of intermarriage only 18% are being raised Jewish, and even members of that small group are celabrating Christmas more than they are celebrating Passover. 65% go to church, only 19% go to synogague. Over half of all intermarriages end in divorce.
WWW.WHYDATEJEWISH.COM
If you go to this site you can get a FREE book that will discuss the pros to marring Jewish. It's free so you can only gain something from it.
Post #17 Craig replied to Jennifer's post
There are also some rules that are really old that are still very very relevant.
Thou shall not kill
Thou shall not covet
Thou shall not bear false witness
Honor your father and mother
Thou shall not steal
Etc.
We do a lot to save endangered animals. Why not save a people who have been around for 3000 years, gave us such great laws, started Monotheisim, have made so many lives better (doctors, inventions, processes). Isn't that something worth saving?
Post #185 Rambler
It is well known that marriages today are at risk. The divorce rate is on the rise. It is hard for two different people to live their lives together. Their life is no longer just their own to do as they see fit. So many of the choices they make in life must now be made together. For many people, although they may like each other very much, their views are just not compatible and so they have to split up.
To make it work, we must find a partner who's core values, the view of the world with which they were raised, matches our own. For a Jew, this means we need to find another Jew. Even for someone who is not currently very religious, they need to find a spouse who sees the world from the Jewish perspective as they do. Someone who, perhaps even despite themselves, has a Jewish identity. We have been raised to think of being a Jew as a basic part of who we are and how we fit into the world. Only with someone who shares that most basic world view can one make a life together.
Some Jews may approve of a particular action that Israel takes, and other Jews may criticize it, but they are both talking about what we are doing not what they are doing. Non-Jews may just say, "Why do I care about something going on at the other side of the world. It has nothing to do with me. That's them not me." This is because we view the world from a different vantage point than others do. The vantage point of the Jew. Like it or not, the world will treat us the way that Jews are treated.
Being Jewish is only one of many important things to look for in a spouse, but it is an important one. If you don't even try to find a partner with whom it might work, you risk becoming just another unfortunate statistic.
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Interfaith Marriage
Post #1 David
Here's my two cents: I love being Jewish but its only one of many aspects of who I am. Just as I would not expect my future wife to love baseball (I'm also a huge Yankees fan) I feel like I cannot reasonably expect that she be Jewish. Or to put it another way someones religion doesn't really affect how I feel about them at that level. If I'm going to get married, I think that there's a compromise to be worked out somewhere.
Post #473 Rambler
The discussion of intermarriage is very interesting, but it seems to me that everyone has missed the point. Judaism does not frown on intermarriage because it is racist. On the contrary, it has a very progressive approach to diversity.
People intolerant of diversity chop the collective body of humanity into six billion fragments and roll it back into a single mush. They want each person to do his or her own thing and relate equally to every other individual on the planet. They don't see the point of distinct peoples. They feel such distinctions just get in the way.
But we are like leaves extending from twigs branching out from larger twigs on branches of larger branches until we reach the trunk and roots of us all. Each of us has our place on this tree of life, each its source of nurture -- and on this the tree relies for its very survival. None of us walks alone. Each carries the experiences of ancestors wherever he or she roams, along with their troubles, their traumas, their victories, their hopes and their aspirations. Our thoughts grow out from their thoughts, our destiny shaped by their goals. At the highest peak we ever get to, there they are, holding our hand, pushing us upward, providing the shoulders on which to stand. And we share those shoulders, that consciousness, that heritage with all the brothers and sisters of our people.
That's why your own people are so important: If you want to find peace with any other person in the world, you've got to start with your own brothers and sisters. Until then, you haven't yet found peace within your own self. And only when you've found peace within yourself can you help us find peace for the entire world.
When a man and woman marry, two people become one. Their two paths become one path. They must therefore marry someone who is going down the same path. The path of your people. We must keep our own branch, and not try to just roll everything together as if we are all the same. That is not respecting diversity, but ignoring it. If you truly appreciate who you are and the unique contribution that your people make to the world, then you will want to raise your children to continue in that path. You will want to create a Jewish home. That requires two things. A Jewish father and a Jewish mother.
Post #519 Rambler
You don't marry Jewish because your racist or xenophobic. Quite the contrary, in fact. You marry Jewish because you want to continue the chain that our ancestors started thousands of years ago. You want to make a Jewish home, based on Jewish values. That means that you want your children to have a Jewish mother and a Jewish father like you were (hopefully) fortunate enough to have. It's not fair to expect a Non-Jew to forsake their heritage and join with you. All the various heritages in the world have something to contribute and it would be a shame if any of them were to be lost. We have a duty to continue our own. You shouldn't marry someone merely based on love. Two people who love each other are called friends. A marriage is where you want to make a home together, and for that you need someone compatible.
Here's my two cents: I love being Jewish but its only one of many aspects of who I am. Just as I would not expect my future wife to love baseball (I'm also a huge Yankees fan) I feel like I cannot reasonably expect that she be Jewish. Or to put it another way someones religion doesn't really affect how I feel about them at that level. If I'm going to get married, I think that there's a compromise to be worked out somewhere.
Post #473 Rambler
The discussion of intermarriage is very interesting, but it seems to me that everyone has missed the point. Judaism does not frown on intermarriage because it is racist. On the contrary, it has a very progressive approach to diversity.
People intolerant of diversity chop the collective body of humanity into six billion fragments and roll it back into a single mush. They want each person to do his or her own thing and relate equally to every other individual on the planet. They don't see the point of distinct peoples. They feel such distinctions just get in the way.
But we are like leaves extending from twigs branching out from larger twigs on branches of larger branches until we reach the trunk and roots of us all. Each of us has our place on this tree of life, each its source of nurture -- and on this the tree relies for its very survival. None of us walks alone. Each carries the experiences of ancestors wherever he or she roams, along with their troubles, their traumas, their victories, their hopes and their aspirations. Our thoughts grow out from their thoughts, our destiny shaped by their goals. At the highest peak we ever get to, there they are, holding our hand, pushing us upward, providing the shoulders on which to stand. And we share those shoulders, that consciousness, that heritage with all the brothers and sisters of our people.
That's why your own people are so important: If you want to find peace with any other person in the world, you've got to start with your own brothers and sisters. Until then, you haven't yet found peace within your own self. And only when you've found peace within yourself can you help us find peace for the entire world.
When a man and woman marry, two people become one. Their two paths become one path. They must therefore marry someone who is going down the same path. The path of your people. We must keep our own branch, and not try to just roll everything together as if we are all the same. That is not respecting diversity, but ignoring it. If you truly appreciate who you are and the unique contribution that your people make to the world, then you will want to raise your children to continue in that path. You will want to create a Jewish home. That requires two things. A Jewish father and a Jewish mother.
Post #519 Rambler
You don't marry Jewish because your racist or xenophobic. Quite the contrary, in fact. You marry Jewish because you want to continue the chain that our ancestors started thousands of years ago. You want to make a Jewish home, based on Jewish values. That means that you want your children to have a Jewish mother and a Jewish father like you were (hopefully) fortunate enough to have. It's not fair to expect a Non-Jew to forsake their heritage and join with you. All the various heritages in the world have something to contribute and it would be a shame if any of them were to be lost. We have a duty to continue our own. You shouldn't marry someone merely based on love. Two people who love each other are called friends. A marriage is where you want to make a home together, and for that you need someone compatible.
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